May 13th, 2003 - Tuesday

Fresh Start

I find myself, strangely, a little sad that we aren't moving this year.

Yeah, I know. I don't like the process of moving either. I hate packing up all the stuff. Even more, I hate actually moving it into a truck/van/car and then moving it into the new place. But I love the fresh beginnings of a new home.

I look around our apartment and what used to be big suddenly seems to be so small. We have our bedroom, Hayley's room, the computer/music room, the living room and the kitchen and dining area. Our bathroom is big enough to easily accommodate a washer and dryer. In general, this is a fairly decent sized apartment. It's roughly the size of what you would normally find in an upper duplex. However, as we've gathered things over the past several years, I find our walls are shrinking in.

Part of me wants to get rid of stuff but the big problem is that there's not always a lot to toss. We need the furniture we have - sometimes it feels like we even need more. There's no room for it though.

If we were moving, I know that I would get rid of things that I don't really need, and George would probably do the same. The first time I moved, when I left my parents' home, I brought almost everything I had with me, every sheet of paper, every notebook, every magazine. Each time I moved after that, I realized that I just wasn't interested in carting all that crap around and so I started tossing a little here, a lot there. Probably the biggest toss-out that I had was when I moved in with George the first time. He had a 2-bedroom apartment and had already lived there for four years. There just wasn't a whole lot of room for my stuff - as it was I had to store about seven boxes in the garage of some friends for a year until we moved to this place.

I know that I could just as easily start sorting through stuff now and throw away things I don't need. I already gave away a huge bag full of clothes that I don't need anymore to charity. It's not the same though.

There's just something so ruthless about paring down when you're leaving your current home. When I try to declutter now, I find myself sentimental over stupid things and wishy-washy over others so I end up keeping more than I should. When I think about actually packing something into a box and then lugging it down four flights of stairs and up into a new place, I'd be much more likely to scoff at it and throw it out instead.

And I love setting up in a nice empty apartment. I love looking around and figuring out the best way to lay out the furniture, the best way to store kitchenware, the right shelf for the towels in the linen closet... Maybe I'm just weird but it's the epitome of making a fresh start in your life when you're starting with bare walls and bare floors.

Maybe I just need to re-arrange the living room or something.

This was a collaboration for On Display, topic "fresh start".

Gratuitous baby shots.

Hayley loves Baby Mozart.

Hayley decides to help me make supper by finding some useful utensils in her drawer.