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October 5th, 2003
Ick diet
Ever since Hayley has started eating solids, especially eating table foods, I've tried very hard to give her healthy choices. I give her fresh meals that I've made with various meats, vegetables, pasta, cheese, and so on. If our particular meal doesn't happen to have any vegetables then I give her some from my freezer stash or a jar of baby vegetables. If we're eating something like pizza, then I cook her a scrambled egg or make her a grilled cheese sandwich. She always gets fruit for dessert whether it's a jar or some diced banana.
I really didn't want her eating anything that was too over processed or sugary. I stopped buying the jarred banana because there's so much sugar in it. I also once bought a toddler meal of pasta animal shapes with tomato sauce and mini meatballs. She enjoyed it but the sodium content was outrageous so I haven't gotten her one since. It's just as easy for me to boil a bit of pasta, put a cheese slice over it, and microwave it for her, then cut it up. It's also much healthier.
She doesn't get juice very often, because I opt for giving her water instead. If she does get juice, it's a special treat and it's still cut with at least 50% water.
The problem is that I sometimes have trouble figuring out how to say no to things without sounding like I'm judging other people and their choices. I don't like to offend people and that's something I need to work on because I have a child now and I need to put her welfare ahead of anyone else's feelings.
On Saturday I learned just how much diet can affect someone's well-being. It actually started with me. All week long I had eaten home-cooked food because the fall weather has really inspired me to turn on the oven and start cooking again. I've eaten squash and sausage casserole, cheeseburger rice, baked beef macaroni and cheese, italian sausages in tomato sauce, and spaghetti squash. On Friday I was out at a party but our friend had a ton of home-cooked food too so I've eaten really well for a week straight (you can find all the recipes I mentioned over in my recipe blog).
On Saturday Tyler and Felicia came over and we were all in the mood for McDonalds. I had actually been thinking of Big Macs that same afternoon so I was excited. I ate a Big Mac and a poutine and enjoyed the hell out of it. Twenty minutes later I had a horrible stomach ache. I blame the food.
The same thing happened to Hayley. All week long she had eaten the same I was eating for supper and we would have leftovers for lunch. Her breakfasts were blueberry oatmeal or toast with jam. She was eating very well because I really care about what goes into her body, more than I care about my own food intake.
On Saturday she slept in because of being at the party the night before. By the time we got her up there was no time to feed her a real breakfast before leaving for the breastfeeding challenge that I mentioned in my previous entry. I didn't worry about it too much because she had filled up well on milk. While we were there, she had an oatmeal cookie because they were low in sugar and I decided they were okay for her to eat.
Lunch was okay too, because we had leftover Italian sausages so she ate that and was content and fine. She even took a nice little nap for about an hour and a half.
Then the late afternoon rolled around. First she tried a few bites of pretzel braids. They weren't too bad because they weren't heavily salted, though they did have honey in them (and let me tell you, even though I know that honey is only a high-risk food before the age of one year, the fact that botulism can KILL an infant I was still a little nervous about it). Then it was supper time. Since George and Tyler were heading out to pick up McDonalds for us, I was going to scramble Hayley an egg and make a slice of toast. However, Felicia had just finished feeding her son half of a toddler meal, a Chef Boyardee lasagna made "especially for toddlers". Unfortunately it had just as ridiculous an amount of sodium as the other one I had given her last month. I didn't really want to give it to her because I knew an egg and toast would be healthier, but it was there and ready and I figured that it would just be a little treat for her. She certainly did enjoy it even though it made me cringe a little. Dessert was a huge improvement since she had organic applesauce with apricot.
After she was done, our supper arrived. It's very difficult to eat in front of Hayley unless you don't mind having her face shoved in your meal to see what you're having. They wanted to know if they could give Hayley french fries. Her son was chowing down on them. And you know - and this bothers me no end - I didn't want to say no. I didn't want to offend them, to imply that they weren't making proper nutritional choices for a little boy who is only two days younger than Hayley. I didn't want to seem like an irrational and paranoid parent, especially since my concern over honey for infants was met with raised eyebrows and a response that the little guy had been eating it on toast since six months of age. I just decided to go with the flow and so did George so Hayley ate several fries. Felicia also gave her pieces of her Quarter Pounder since Hayley eats cheeseburgers with us too.
See though, the problem with that is that, yes, she eats burgers with us. But she eats burgers that I cook on our grill, where the fat is drained off and I know everything that's on it. She doesn't eat fast food burgers.
She also doesn't eat greasy fries. She's had the potato squeezed out of our french fries when I've cooked them in the oven, but not a whole fry (and certainly not as many as she ate Saturday night). McD's fries may look like they're light on the grease because they're so light in color and crispy. Trust me. I worked there as a teenager and if you saw all the crap, all the congealed chunks of grease that come out of the hose from the fry vat when you're closing at the end of the night, you'd be disgusted. I didn't eat their fries for a year after working there.
It was an accumulation thing I guess, but it turns out that when you combine honey pretzels, salt-laden pre-packaged toddler meals, deceptively greasy french fries, and bits of questionable burger you get pretty much the same problem that you would get if you overloaded your child on sugar bombs. She was tired and she was cranky but she was also wired and freaked out and after trying to nurse her down for an hour and a half, I finally brought her back out to the living room at 10:30 pm in frustration. She ended up being cranky until 11:30, and fell asleep at 11:45. That is no bedtime for a one year old child.
This morning she was cranky again even though she slept in to compensate. She was clingy and whiney and angry, and then she suddenly started crying. It wasn't the crying that goes with toddler frustration, it was the "something is wrong" crying. I held her and she wiggled and squirmed, not wanting to be held and cuddled, but she cried harder if I put her down, not wanting to be left alone.
Finally, she let out some gas and I changed a very full diaper, and she was fine. Oh, she was still fussy and cranky from messed up sleep patterns, but at least there wasn't any full-out crying any longer.
I know it was the food. I know it and I feel so terrible about it. I should have put my foot down and next time I will. I won't let my concerns about other people's feelings or opinions towards me blind me to what works best for my child. A lone fry wouldn't have hurt anything but I never should have let her eat that much garbage in one day.
Today she ate apple cinnamon toddler cereal with milk for breakfast. She didn't really eat lunch because she woke up so late and then slept through lunchtime for her (40 minute) nap but I gave her cheese for a snack. She drank lots of water. She had spaghetti squash with meat sauce for supper and had applesauce for dessert. She was much less high-strung and she went to bed easily at 8:30. I think she fell asleep within ten minutes.
I have been beating myself up all day over this. I'm sorry Hayley. From now on there will be a lot more in the way of healthy food and a hell of a lot less from the junk food group.
Eating a healthy snack of cheese.
Checking the flyers to see what's on sale this week. "Mama! Cheese is on again!"
2002: None.
2001: None.
2000: Geek, oh yes i am.
1999: None.
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